Exactly What To Say by Phil M Jones: Book Review and Practical Cheat Sheet

Sometimes you read a book and you absolutely need to share it. Exactly What To Say: The Magic Words for Influence and Impact by Phil M Jones is one of those. A short, practical book that genuinely changed how I handle tricky business conversations.

Quick Summary

• The book: Exactly What To Say by Phil M Jones, available in print or as a one-hour audiobook
• The promise: 23 short phrases you can use to communicate more effectively in any business conversation
• Who it helps: Business owners, consultants, coaches, anyone who has conversations with prospects and wants to become more persuasive without becoming pushy
• Why I recommend it: Simple, actionable, useful. You can read it in an hour and apply the principles the same afternoon
• Where to find the author: exactlywhattosay.com — Phil's website with more about his work

Why This Book Landed With Me

I am not a pushy salesperson, and I am guessing you are not either. What I look for in a book is simple, actionable, useful information that makes my life better from the minute I put it down.

This book delivers exactly that.

You can get through the audiobook in about an hour, which is remarkable. I consumed it in both audio and paper, and I still reach for the paper copy when I am planning an important conversation. That brings me to the first real lesson.

The best time to plan what to say is not when you are about to say it

This might sound obvious, but for important business conversations a little preparation changes everything. Before this book I almost never prepared my language in advance. Now I do, and my conversations land better because of it.

What the Book Actually Teaches

Phil M Jones gives you a small, practical toolkit of phrases that create what he calls a fair advantage in conversations. The idea is straightforward: certain words and phrases, used at the right moment, help the other person accept your framing rather than resist it.

The phrase I have leaned on most is 'The good news is...'.

The principle Phil teaches here is about labels. Once a label is attached to something in a conversation, it becomes very hard to shift. So prefacing your point with 'the good news is' attaches a positive label to what follows, and the other person finds it much harder to resist.

Here is how I use it. We meet a lot of prospective clients who are confused and anxious about marketing, not sure which way to turn. I now say to them:

'The good news is that we have met dozens of people who were in exactly your situation when they started, and they have gone on to be really successful. We are here to support you too.'

It is no different in sentiment to what I have always said. But it is more reassuring, and it lands better. That is the whole book in miniature.

Nick's Notes

A few things worth knowing before you pick up this book.

1. It is short. Read it, apply one phrase, then come back for another
2. Do not try to apply everything at once. Pick two or three and make them automatic
3. This is not a sales script. It is a communication toolkit. Useful for any business conversation, not just pitches
4. Buy the paper version even if you also listen. You will want to reference it

A Practical Cheat Sheet

Below is my working list of the phrases from the book, with examples of how I apply them in my business. The phrases are short references. The examples are mine, showing how I use them in real client conversations.

'I am not sure if it is for you, but...' ...we operate on a monthly contract designed to deliver results.

'How open-minded are you...' ...to seeing how your own content could pull in leads without paid ads?

'What do you know about...' ...the way digital buyers have changed over the last few years?

'How would you feel if...' ...your competition got a content foothold in your sector before you did?

'Just imagine...' ...the results for your business if your leads tripled.

'When would be a good time...' ...for you to take a proper look at this?

'I am guessing you have not got around to...' ...looking at this properly yet.

Simple Swaps

'Do you have any questions for me?' (not 'any questions?')

'What is the best number to contact you on?' (not 'can I have your phone number?')

'As I see it, you have three options...' (not 'we have three choices')

'What is going to be easier for you?' (not 'do you want X or Y?')

'There are two types of people...' ...those who judge something before they have tried it, and those who are open-minded.

'I bet you are a bit like me...' ...a busy person always juggling to get everything done.

'If... then...' If you implement this properly, I can promise the results for your business will be real.

'Do not worry...' I have been where you are and I know it feels impossible. That is why we built this programme.

'Most people...' ...start at level one, and then after a few months once they see results they dial it up.

'The good news is...' ...you are already closer to getting this right than you think.

'What happens next...' ...is we get the questionnaire complete, then structure a programme to suit your needs.

'What makes you say that?' In response to 'I do not have enough money to do this right now' — a powerful pause that invites them to explain their thinking.

'Before you make up your mind...' ...let us run through the details again and you can tell me any areas you cannot yet see the benefit.

'If I can, will you...' If I can match that price today, will you commit to getting started?

'Enough' Will a monthly allowance of ten hours be enough for you?

'Just one more thing...' I wonder if you could read the article on X and let me know what it makes you think.

'A favour (for referrals)...' You would not happen to know someone just like you who would benefit from this?

'Just out of curiosity (for delays)...' ...what exactly is it that you need to think about? What needs to happen for you to decide?

Should You Buy It?

Yes. An hour of your time for a toolkit of phrases you will use for the rest of your career is an excellent trade. If you lead a team, buy copies for everyone who has conversations with clients. The book pays for itself the first time somebody uses 'the good news is...' with a nervous prospect.

You can find the book widely, and you can learn more about Phil's work at exactlywhattosay.com .

FAQ

Is this a sales manipulation book?

No. Phil's framing is about communicating more clearly, not tricking people. The phrases work because they respect the other person's intelligence and autonomy while making your point land. If you try to use them manipulatively, they will not work.

How long does it take to read?

About an hour on audio. Maybe 90 minutes in print if you take your time.

Who should NOT read this book?

If you are not in any kind of business conversation — not selling, not coaching, not pitching, not managing — then it is less directly useful. It is a communications book for people whose work depends on conversations going well.

Is it worth it if I already consider myself a good communicator?

In my experience, yes. The phrases are small but they sit just outside what most of us do naturally, which is why they add something.

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